Have the Baby Shower!

I always wanted to experience all the little cute events that come with being pregnant; cute announcements, beautiful maternity photoshoots, adorable baby showers, and lovey newborn photos. When my cute announcement became shadowed by fear and stress and my belly never got big enough for a maternity shoot, and my baby was delivered before my baby shower and my newborn was lost in a sea of wires and tubes, encased within a plexiglass fish tank, I mourned the loss of all of those events. It all seems superficial, and yes technically it is, but all of those things represent joy, love, peace, and celebration of a new life and a new chapter in your life. Instead of that, I found myself drowning in a sea of uncertainty, fear, grief, pain, anxiety, depression, confusion, guilt, and anger.

I grappled with whether I even wanted to have a baby shower after my daughter was born 3.5 months early and hanging on for dear life- literally. I wanted to celebrate her, and if I'm being honest, I wanted to celebrate me too. I had fought hard to bring my daughter into this world, I wanted the cake, and games, and cute gifts. I wanted to dress up and feel pretty, and normal, and be able to revel in the joy that comes with having a new baby, even if the outcome of my baby's life was still a bit uncertain. So when my family asked me if I still wanted to have a shower, I said yes.

I am beyond glad that I said yes. It was a wonderful day filled with that love, joy, peace, and celebration I had always dreamed about. We ate good food, laughed, and played silly games. I got adorable gifts and cried over many of them. I think of my baby shower with great joy and gratitude to my friends and family who showed up and covered me and my baby in love and support.

So if you find yourself trying to decide if you should still have a baby shower even though you aren't still pregnant, this is your sign to have your shower. You and your baby deserve that love, joy, peace, and celebration.

Back